Job-less

The weight of the world seems to be on u. You feel you ought to be glad to have free time but it is ruined by visions of failure, constant reminders of the future and uncertain hopes.

Late seems to be the time to hit the sack and late seems to be the time leave that wonderful refuge when u can forget everything that did or didnt happen the day before.

The television- man's greatest invention--- actually a close second to the Air-conditioner which is Chennai's greatest saint in these times of stifling heat which saps sense and enthusiasm.
The television is elevated to the status of king, the king can show you unending mediocrity (the bold and the beautiful) or amazing insights into heart, mind and soul (the practice).

There is the college which seems to have turned into a video of Shaan with visions of people fading in and out of focus. Life is slow motion in the hallways. A locker slightly ajar and all you can see is somebody kneeling and turning to smile as u walk past before slowly fading into misty nothing. The silence is longing to be broken with nothing to do it. My Footsteps sound like thumps of a hammer on wood in the emptiness. Where is everybody? Where did they go? Was it that long ago?

The desolate emptiness which seems to take ten times the usual time needed to go up and down. Why am I going up and down? suddenly logic is forgotten and it is all feeling... sensing... knowing...

Is this job--less??? i talk aloud knowing there is noone to hear. I talk louder more to myself than anything. I feel a rustling near my legs. I realise im down again. i dont remember walkin there. Ahh it is the canine that seems to be forever here. Well, someone better than noone. It is quite a conversation and his nods and jerks are almost passionate in response to my words as if understanding the explanation as what a dogs life is and why things change when they do. He settles in silence nodding apparently liking the sound of my voice though the meaning seems to be going in as he closes his eyes. sometimes they understand more than you think.

Sometimes you unexpectedly feel good doing something which came as an impulse. Such is life.